DEAR ABBY: I’ve been an beginner astronomer for over 25 years. I at all times go to look at meteors in addition to any celestial occasion. This yr I invited my brother-in-law and his spouse to look at a meteor bathe with my husband and me. Since we each have campers, I reserved and paid the deposit for 2 campsites in a pleasant spot close to among the finest night time skies. The reservations had been made greater than a month in the past.
My sister-in-law, whom I like very a lot and have been good buddies with for over 20 years, referred to as me yesterday to let me know that my BIL had invited three of their pre-teen granddaughters. Abby, I assumed they realized it was going to be an grownup occasion since we might be up half the night time and journey half-hour to get to the darkish sky location. I do that yearly.
I advised my SIL that my BIL ought to have requested me first since I invited them and made all of the preparations for this occasion. We talked on the cellphone for 90 minutes earlier than I advised her that my BIL was fallacious as a result of he did not ask me first if it was okay.
Moments after we hung up, she texted me and advised me to cancel their reservation as a result of they would not be attending. We drive 90 miles to this campground. They dwell half-hour away from it. Was I fallacious to inform her that they need to have requested me first since I’m a housewife for 2 days and nights? — STARS IN THE WEST
DEAR STARRY EYES: Your son-in-law mustn’t have invited anybody with out clearing it with you first. What they did could have been well-intentioned, nevertheless it was additionally impolite. If any of those ladies present an curiosity in astronomy, you could select to ask them to such an occasion sooner or later. However their presence did not have to leap out at you the way in which it did.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for practically 20 years. My mother-in-law has at all times been passive-aggressive, important, and interfering in our enterprise. My husband by no means advised her to cease as a result of he may by no means stand as much as her. Sadly, I did not arise for myself both. I lastly had it and lower her down to some extent.
My husband says he helps me however has by no means proven it. Now he typically talks to her outdoors the home and lies to me about it. Since I stood as much as her, he has additionally withdrawn from me emotionally, which he was hardly able to earlier than. She nonetheless meddles in each a part of his life and offers him speeches like he is nonetheless her little little one.
I am achieved with this unhealthy dynamic. I pushed for remedy, however I did not see any change in him. He solely goes as a result of I power him. Do you could have any recommendation? — BURNT IN NEW YORK
DEAR BURNED: I agree that the dynamic you describe is unhealthy. It appears like your husband is extra hooked up to his mom than to you. Do not do something impulsive or out of anger. If you happen to’re actually burned out, preserve speaking to your therapist that will help you determine methods to transfer ahead.
Pricey Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
