DEAR ABBY: I’ve a good friend “Doug” whom I’ve recognized for 30 years. I’ve moved, however we get collectively a few times a yr. I’ve recognized his spouse longer than he has and watched their son develop up attending his sports activities actions after I visited and contributing to highschool fundraisers. He is a very good child.
I’ve not too long ago heard rumors that Doug has made inappropriate advances in direction of and touched girls in our circle of mates. It occurred as soon as after I was there. Sadly, there may be a couple of cost. I do not belief these rumours. Though I did not witness it, the habits after the occasion is smart to me now.
I am unhappy, disillusioned and a little bit indignant. I distanced myself from Doug as a result of one of many victims can also be a detailed good friend. I really feel responsible for protecting in contact with him as if nothing occurred. Doug’s spouse and son maintain asking me after I will probably be visiting once more. Now that I am semi-retired, my excuses are over. I can not simply go off the grid and I clearly do not need to be the one to interrupt up the household. I additionally do not need to disgrace the sufferer by performing like nothing occurred. Is there a method out of this? — THORNE IN WISCONSIN
DEAR THORNE: I assume the good friend that Doug touched inappropriately mentioned you what occurred and also you did not hear about it second hand. In that case, the rumors are true. Did this variation in Doug’s habits happen as a result of he was drunk or in any other case impaired? If the reply isn’t any, he might have a medical drawback and ought to be seen by his physician.
Should you actually are his spouse’s good friend, inform her what you have been instructed concerning the rumors and that you’re involved about him. It will not be information she needs to listen to, however it’s vital to be instructed.
DEAR ABBY: I am a person who not too long ago discovered a brand new job with a gaggle of individuals I am attending to know and like. Certainly one of my siblings killed himself a little bit over 10 years in the past. I miss her a lot, however I’ve gone by way of the phases of grief, accepted it and moved on.
We not too long ago had a celebration at work. Individuals have been speaking about household and siblings and it was my flip to speak about my siblings. I mentioned I had two, however one died. I felt that this was not the best reply on this state of affairs, which I’ve been in a number of occasions through the years. What can be one of the simplest ways to reply a query a couple of deceased sibling? I do not need to neglect her and all the nice recollections I had together with her. — INCOMFORTABLE IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR INCONVENIENT: You dealt with the state of affairs appropriately. You do not have to debate the dying by suicide of a sibling or different relative at a celebration. The alternative will surely have dampened the festive ambiance. That is one thing that’s higher mentioned in personal if you want.
Pricey Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
