DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I’ve a 3 yr previous grandchild by means of our son. To date this hasn’t been a lot of an issue as a result of I reside in the identical city as my son’s household, however that is about to vary. My grandson is the enjoyment of my life and I plan to go to wherever they transfer after my son’s job switch. I used to be considering of going again to our hometown. Unbeknownst to me, my son can be contemplating shifting there.
The issue for me is that my ex-husband nonetheless lives there and tends to take and monopolize the kid the identical means he did with our son. He stays hostile to me 20 years after our divorce.
A part of me says I needs to be prepared to undergo the ache of being near my ex with a view to be near my grandson. Nonetheless, it strongly jogs my memory of staying married to him for what I perceived to be the well-being of our youngsters. In hindsight, this was mistaken, after all. Regardless of my reservations, ought to I put apart my doubts, return to my hometown and see what occurs? — DECISIONS TO BE MADE
DEAR DECISIONS: Talk about your reservations together with your son and daughter-in-law. In case your ex-spouse tried to monopolize their youngster, might they cease it? On the intense aspect, you aren’t the identical lady you had been 20 years in the past. I would prefer to assume you are stronger and smarter now. If I am proper, although your ex could also be a ache within the again, it might be a bearable ache and you’d have the entry you wish to your grandson.
DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has a behavior that makes me sick. After we’re at dinner along with her, she’ll typically ask, “Can I do this?” Then, with out ready for a solution, she’ll stick her fork or spoon into my meals and take a bit of it. I really feel nauseous when I attempt to eat the remainder of the portion. I do not know easy methods to take care of this. She may be very delicate and simply offended and I all the time felt like she did not like me and did not assume I used to be adequate for her son.
I requested my husband to kindly ask his mom to cease doing this however he refuses as a result of he would not wish to offend his mom. After I informed him I used to be sick, he requested if I had ever actually gotten sick from meals that her used utensils had touched, and I needed to admit that I hadn’t. And he mentioned, “Then the place’s the unhealthy?” It nonetheless actually bothers me. what am i able to do — MY FOOD IS MINE
DEAR FOOD IS MINE: It would not matter in case your mother-in-law thinks you are not adequate for her valuable son. Because you did not like tolerating her rudeness, you may as properly begin standing up for your self. The subsequent time she asks for a “style of this” smile, decide up your plate, minimize her a bit, after which hand it to her.
Expensive Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
