DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been married for lower than a 12 months and I’m pregnant with our first little one. Our child was deliberate and we had been excited.
One thing modified with my husband after I entered the second trimester. If I learn one thing about being pregnant and attempt to share it with him, he immediately shuts me down, saying I should not imagine all the things I learn or that I am losing my time. He does not need to put something within the nursery both. He goes on to say that we do not have to do it till a month earlier than the newborn is born.
I attempt to be affected person and understanding however mates have already taken a step again from speaking to me and I really feel very remoted. The opposite night time my husband dropped me off for dinner with mates. One among them stated that being pregnant is probably the most egocentric factor a lady can do, and so did my husband agree! The remark nonetheless hurts me. Whereas the man apologized for saying it and additional defined his place on the topic (everybody had been ingesting however me), my husband did not. He refuses and says I am an fool for being so upset about it.
I am at a loss right here. We had been planning this child and I assumed it might convey us even nearer. Now I really feel extremely lonely and unhappy. Why would somebody say one thing so merciless and why would my husband agree as an alternative of being on my facet? — WE EXPECT MORE IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR EXPECTANTS: Being pregnant is an thrilling and difficult expertise for everybody concerned, and your feelings could also be heightened. Though your husband was initially keen about beginning a household immediately, it is potential that in this second trimester he acknowledged the truth of the duties that include parenthood. It is also potential that due to your pleasure about your being pregnant, it has turn into your most important matter of dialog, which can be why your pals have backed off.
The comment made the night time you two had been out with mates was in all probability fueled by an excessive amount of alcohol and never sufficient common sense. Your husband might have agreed as a result of he’s jealous that your physique has been “co-opted” by the newborn. Not understanding him, I am unable to guess why he continues to refuse to apologize for this.
It appears to me that you’d really feel much less remoted for those who discovered an older, extra skilled buddy or relative to information you thru this troublesome time. Additionally, hold monitor of your medicals to ensure all the things goes effectively.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be born deaf in my proper ear. Regardless of what number of instances I remind the folks I am closest to, they nonetheless get aggravated with me as a result of I ask them to repeat what they are saying. It’s particularly troublesome for me when their backs are turned to me. Any solutions on the best way to management my anger? Sure, it actually upsets me due to my listening to drawback. — I HEAR THE BEST I CAN
DEAR LISTENER: Management your anger by persevering with to remind those who they should speak in your “good” ear, and whenever you sit down, make certain the folks you need to speak to are sitting to your left. If you happen to do, it may be much less tense for all of you.
Expensive Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
